Here’s my Valentine’s Day gift for you. No chocolate, no roses, no homemade voucher for ten full-body massages, just my reflection on the first year of 69 Dates.

I wrote 29 blog posts. That’s roughly one post every two weeks. Is that a lot? Should I write more? I’m not sure if I’d become a better writer if I’d be spitting out more content. My creative process is that I usually start with one concept/thought/line that pops up in my head after an experience. Then I elaborate on it while writing. Forcing myself to write x posts or words per week will feel like a chore to me. I want to keep this 69 Dates thing fun for myself. The quality of my writing would most likely go down as well.

Even if I wanted to, there’s the problem of inspiration. During the last part of the year, I found it difficult to come up with new content. Fresh stuff, spicy stuff. Is this what they call writer’s block? Maybe it was because I was less focused on dating. If you don’t go out in the field to play, you can’t really get inspired. I noticed that writing is really a muscle. Consistency is key. When writing this post, after a break of two and a half months, the words clearly don’t flow as easily as before. Maybe I should commit myself to a writing schedule after all…

I can see progress in my writing. The content is sharper. The stories are more personal, less generic. My early posts were certainly more filtered and cautious than my later work (I sound like an accomplished author with five published books hehe). I gradually added more of my own voice and dared to take a stand. I care less now about how I come across or if I’m right or wrong. I was too naive to see that everyone is just too busy with themselves anyway.

I went on 13 first dates. That’s roughly one date per month. Is that a number that would impress a socially inept IT guy? Or are alpha males ridiculing me for my low exposure to female companionship? I wish I went on more dates to be honest. Maybe around 20, that’s a good number. Certainly attainable with the right amount of effort, energy and priority. Should I start sacrificing hobby evenings or quality time with friends? Yes, it’s possible to be always “on”. Checking things out at the bus stop (and it’s not the time table), lingering around near the fruit section in the supermarket in search of something sweet and juicy, scanning the club for potential mates instead of dancing, all possible of course. I’m not sure if I want to live that kind of life though. Even though I like going on dates, I’m not always motivated to put in the effort. It comes in waves and depends on other areas in my life. Should I make dating a priority in 2020? Should I let go or loosen up some principles (only first dates, not going on dates for the sake of boosting the number of dates, only dates from the list etc.). I think not but I can definitely be more social, less picky and take more initiative.

I’m still very happy to have started this blog. It feels good to have something you created entirely on your own. I made the right choice to make it as low maintenance as possible. It was a conscious decision to not actively promote the blog. I will continue to walk this path. I want more people to read my writings but I don’t want to focus on the numbers. 

What annoys me is the level of activity of my audience. Be it commenting, liking, subscribing, sharing etc. Not because I want to go viral or I need a lot of validation. For me, it’s about feedback. I have no clue what my readers find about my writing. Which posts were well-written, which are my bad ones? Is it entertaining to read? Is it valuable to people? I don’t know. I heard countless times that my blog is “nice” and that I write well. Thank you but that doesn’t really help me to become a better writer to be honest. I take it as a sign that my work is not good enough and not (yet) worth an effort to engage. But then again, if you watch a Youtube video for example, only a small fraction of the views are comments. Passive consumerism is everywhere. That’s fine.

A year in review wouldn’t be one without a list:

All in all, I can say that I’ll continue in 2020 as I was doing in 2019. I hope to avoid long writing breaks. I might start adding tags to posts or create new categories to structure the growing amount of posts. I still need to figure out how to boost my dating activities without compromising my integrity.

Chapter 2019, closed.

 

 

Fill in your email address at the bottom of the page to receive new posts straight in your inbox!

If you like my writings, share it with your friends, enemies and lovers. Spread the word!

On Taking Public Transport
On Time