I often get the question in what timeframe I was going to complete all the dates. I thought about this when I was shaping the blog. One year maybe? No, that was a bit too ambitious. I decided that there was no “deadline”. Nor did I want to pin me down to a frequency of writing.
Fast-forward six months in the game. To be honest, I was a bit disappointed in myself. Only six dates (actually eight but still need to write about my two last ones) in six months, that’s only one date a month. Who was I? An ugly, shy nerd without social skills? I could do better. But then I remembered that dating is not really a priority in my life, it is just one of the things I do. I was tempted to go all-in on the dating thing. It’s easy: you go out and meet people at social events at least three-four times a week, you collect phone numbers, you spend an insane amount of time texting and setting up dates. You steer each and every interaction into this blog thing. You try and try and try. It’s called the numbers game. However, it comes with a huge sacrifice in other areas of my life. One I’m not willing to make. Also, I don’t want to become “that date guy”. I’m not my blog. I in fact rarely mention my blog during conversations, I only bring it up when I’m actually setting up the date.
I also remembered that the blog is only about first dates. In between the “blog dates”, I was meeting chicks again and having dates I wasn’t writing about. At least not directly.
It all boils down, I think, to having character. What do I want to stand for, even if you feel the temptation and the pressure to go for the quick wins, the fast fame, the easy money. Every writer likes to spit out content for his/her audience to read. It’s so easy to sacrifice quality for quantity. Should I go on dates with people who just like the concept (for example, a friend who is in a relationship already)? Should I go on a date with someone who I’m actually not interested in? Do I really need to tell girls upfront about the blog, or why not just keep it entirely secret? Of course, I could all do this for more dates but I didn’t. I find it important to stay true to the concept and myself. I’m not saying I had the toughest challenge of my life but the devil did whisper in my ear from time to time.
I’m actually grateful that I experienced this feeling of temptation. It taught me how difficult it is, especially in more high-stakes situations, to stay true to yourself and how easy it is to make “mistakes”. It helped me to be more empathic with people making, in my view, unwise decisions. Doing the right thing is a constant battle. But it’s worth it.
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