Seven minutes. That’s the length of each encounter during a speeddating event. I once participated in such a human conveyor belt experience. What struck me the most was that girls come in flocks. Of the 12-14 chicks that were available for mating, only a handful were riding solo. The others came in groups. I asked one kitty cat why she was there with her friends. She answered that her housemate Pemberley (not her real name btw) had the idea and it seemed fun as a night out. Are you serious? I’m trying to meet the mother of my mixed-race kids here. I didn’t pay to be your seven-minute entertainer. Some other girls took it way more seriously, “Just one more thing, what did you study and what is your profession?”. I gave her a copy of my degree and last month’s payslip (I always have those in my pocket). Then I winked and left the table while my hair was blowing in the wind.
This kind of behaviour was probably explains my low amount of matches. On a serious note, I actually don’t fare well when it comes to these ultra short encounters. It’s made for warm, smiling, agreeable people… During the date, we were discussing how short and not too short those seven minutes actually are. You could argue that you can’t judge a book by its cover but I’ve put many books back on the shelf after just reading the description on the back. You just have a hunch if it’s worth the read or not. The same with dating, you often have a feeling already, you notice if the energy matches.
The energy of the date was quite okay. It was the start of the Tour de France. We first had a quick bite outside in the buzzing atmosphere before retreating into the safe space of books and serenity. My initial plan for this date idea was to actually read a book upfront and come together to discuss it but it seemed too complicated in hindsight. So it turned into a journey in the big book store. For my part, the energy between us didn’t really work out. For someone chilled and laidback as me, I need to receive energy from others to ignite, trigger me. I need someone that can put my roof on fire. I also told her this. It is what it is. All we can do is be grateful for the experience shared and turn another page.
I know you’re all dying to know what books we bought. Well, I bought two books (The State of Affairs and Mating in Captivity) of Esther Perel, my favourite relationship therapist. The girl went home empty-handed.
If you want to read more of my posts in the future, you can subscribe at the bottom of the page. If you like my writings, hit the heart button and spread the word (sharing buttons provided).
