We’re approaching the end of a decade. I wouldn’t say that the previous ten years have passed by in flash but certainly the last one did. It almost feels like I rushed through the year. From what I hear, it’s now a period full of festivities with loved and probably a couple of not-so-loved ones. All good but I’m so glad I haven’t seen or heard a soul the last couple of days, except the delivery guy who brought me delicious sushi.
It feels good to just have my laptop on my lap (oh my god, I just realised why a laptop is called a laptop!!! :o) and take a moment to write again. I did some flash reflection (the full reflection will follow later) and I was asking myself if I did enough with my time this year. I’ve achieved things I wanted to achieve, I learnt, I had fun but could that have been more? The eternal question for self-development geeks. Did I spent enough time meeting new people, forging relationships or was I too busy focusing on myself?
You can be intentional about your career (consulting a career coach, searching job boards), having children (going to the pussy doctor, timing the menstrual cycle), buying property (talking with your bank, driving around town), cooking vegan (asking pale-looking people for a recipe), doing charity (introduce Andy to hot interesting, single girls) but when it comes to building (romantic) relationships, then everything has to come naturally. It almost seems like there’s a taboo on this.
A garden will grow full of weeds if it’s not taken care of. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a couple of dandelions too. If you want a blossoming garden full of beautiful flowers, you’ll need to plant them and even illegally hire some Polish dudes to help you dig and fertilise the soil. It takes more effort and on top, now you also have to decided what to do with the freed up space. Now you really need to make up your mind about what you actually like and want. Why make your life harder? But if I hear my peers talk, a lot of them are not truly satisfied with (all) the relationships they’re having now in terms of quantity (feeling lonely) and quality (not being on the same level). Yet they say it’s a very important aspect of their lives.
If someone lives in a rural area complains about not meeting like-minded, cosmopolitan people, then my advice would be to move to a big city and make some sacrifices in other areas of his/her life. Hoping and wanting will not bring hipster events to your doorstep. If you want to meet asian girls, you’ll probably have to go the chilren’s section of clothing stores. I’m not saying you have to go there (please don’t) but it doesn’t hurt to be more intentional in the places you’re visiting or the activities you’re doing. To be honest, I’m not really practicing what I’m preaching as most of the interests I have are overwhelmingly male-dominated.
I’m not saying you need to become desperate and let it become the sole focus in your life but according to me is going with the flow bad advice. The current situation of many is the best proof of that. I hear people say that they are content with their lives but when you go out with them, all you see is them looking around and eyeballing the fuck out of every potential mate. Yes, there are cases where encounters happen by coincidence or via a common group a friends. Perfect. But how often does that happen? Please don’t say “once is enough”… We’re living in an extremely fast-paced world, full of distractions and options. Before you know it, one year passes by. I’d suggest to seize more of those opportunities and live life according to your standards instead of letting life happen to you. Tik tok, tik tok.
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