Based on numerous hours of extensive field study across the globe, both as participant and observer, I conclude that there are two universal truths concerning the dance floor:
- Over time, a group of people form a perfect circle protecting a sacred middle space. Entering that middle space, either by accidentally slipping or getting pushed by someone, triggers a hysterical reaction and then the person in the middle is supposed to dance a solo.
- No matter what song or style of music, the go-to dance move of a guy is to spin the girl around. I did not find a correlation between the attractiveness of the girl and the frequency of spins or amount of dance partners.
I find the spinning ridiculous. It’s cool if you do it once or twice on the right music. But somehow it has to turn into an endless audition for So You Think You Can Dance all night long. Guys are almost waiting in line to have a spin. So basic, so mainstream, ugh. There’s a saturation point for girls, to be recognised by the here-we-go-again face and deep sigh. I guess it’s because the guy is having the courage to dance with her, so she acknowledges his efforts. I’m pretty sure sometimes she lets herself be spun around out of pityness. It’s good though, I’d never stop someone from doing charity work. Good karma +69.
“You just don’t know how to have fun. You’re so serious and boring.” Yes, apparently I am. I actually prefer some dirty grinding but the #Me Too movement made things complicated. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing on the dance floor. I don’t do the spinning and there’s no way to have a decent conversation. So now I chose to mind my own business and do my own thing when I’m on the dance floor. That’s also why I like to go to techno parties. Literally everyone is there for the music and only for the music. There are no annoying group circles, mindless spinning or checking other people out.
In conclusion: more fist pumping, less spinning; more grinding, less spinning; more smooth dance moves, less spinning. Or just get into the zone at a techno party.
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