I’m eating some grapes while I’m writing this. Usually I eat seedless grapes but today is different. This information is actually not very relevant for this post. Thank you for putting up with me.
On a very sunny day, we planned to go mini golfing. She informed me she was going to be an hour or so later. I still departed early from home to chill in the sun near the mini golf in the park. It was pure joy, just lying on the grass, doing nothing but catching a tan. Eventually she arrived so we could get the ball rolling.
Before the date, she told me not to expect anything. I always ignore this standard sentence. For one, I’ve been training myself to not give too many thoughts about what might or might not happen, and usually she is bringing a tsunami of expectations herself. But I had the impression she was just there to have a good time. For me, a date does not have to be more.
Dating and love are often depicted in popular media as big, grandiose things. Back side pictures of two people infatuated with each other during sunset, 69 handwritten letters in red ink smelling like roses, a wedding proposal in Santorini involving white pigeons, a flash mob by a group of wannabe models and a drone in the air capturing everything. I have nothing against translating the amount of love you have for each other in equally impressive marketing deliverables but can we keep it real please?
We don’t need to impress other people, we don’t need to act busy, we don’t need to pretend we’re flawless human beings. We just need to live our own lives. Dating happens also to be a part of it so we treat it as a part, not a life goal. Playing a final during the Olympic Games is maybe a big deal but dating someone? That’s also what I appreciated about this girl. The date was chill, it was not a big deal (at least, that was my impression). She’s living her own life and you can sense that.
I prefer dating busy people. This might sound counterintuitive but they understand that when you’re spending time together that that moment is very valuable. They don’t waste their energy on playing games, feeling entitled or acting needy. I’m not talking about the bragging-busy like “Sorry, Monday I can’t make it because I got invited for a VIP event, Tuesday I have to answer my fan mail, Wednesday is look-how-cool-I-am-club meeting etc.” No, I’m talking about busy living your own life. Dating is adding something to your life, not filling a hole.
When someone comes along your path, there’s a possibility that you walk in the same direction and speed. You can always adjust accordingly. There’s a time and place for everything. But the most important thing is that you’re walking your own path. Life is easy, isn’t it?
I know you’re all dying to know who won the mini golf game. Well, the girl won, a real champ. I guess my putting skills are not up to par with my ability to make punny jokes.
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