I poked her belly. She giggled. Everything seemed fine.
I went through three phases when it comes to anticipating a date: excitement, fear and equanimity.
In my early days I was very excited to go on a date. Anticipation was building up days beforehand. I was making game plans, probably conversation scripts as well. I spent considerable amounts of time preparing myself aesthetically and mentally. Silly me when I think back to those five-day performances but it makes me smile when I’m writing this.
What happens when you’re all excited and your date gets cancelled? Yes, first disappointment and for future dates you start to get worried when D-day comes closer by. You receive a message from her. Panic strikes! Did her dog die again? Is she having diarrhea? (true story) Or is she just not feeling it anymore?
Maybe out of self-protection, maybe it’s because I have other things to do or maybe I have built experience and core confidence over the years but I’m feeling quite “equanimous” (I couldn’t find a better word) before a date now. It’s not that I don’t care about the date or the girl. It’s not that it’s not important but it has lost the “big deal” part for me. During the date is different.
So the pizza date. I went grocery shopping, all prepared. On D-day, she texts me she got a stomach infection. Ok. This is the dating life. It doesn’t surprise or upset me anymore. I could still come but it’s a bit stupid to drive to the other side of town to have her watch me eat pizza. In the end, due to my healing words, we eventually had pizza. So again, you never know what’s going to happen until it’s actually happening. Long live equanimity.
I know you’re all dying to know which pizzas we prepared that evening. Well, it was both times a cross-over between a pizza Veggie and a pizza Hawai (Apologies for the pineapple. Please don’t hit me, it was her idea).
If you want to read more of my posts in the future, you can subscribe at the bottom of the page.
