Almost one year ago I moved to my new place in Brussels. I thought “I have my own space now. I can decorate it as I want: exquisite, refined and Art Deco with a hint of Neoclassical Revival style”. Yeah, I know, classy as always. I never write Culture without a capital C. That’s how I roll baby. So I made a wish list of things I wanted to realise in my new home. From an extendible table to plants to a turntable setup. I believed all these things will allow me to enjoy my place to the fullest and I can host events and this and that. Guess what, it didn’t go as planned. (For Dutch speakers: Er was letterlijk niets van in huis gekomen.)
I have a plant and a couple of “art pieces” against the wall which I don’t really know if I’m noticing them. But I’m very happy at my place. Actually, all I wanted was my own, silent retreat. That wish list was not really contributing to my happiness. I don’t need the perfect place, a place that fulfills my needs, that’s perfect.
Nor do you need the perfect girl or perfect guy. You maybe want Mr. or Mrs. Perfect but it’s not necessarily what you need. Everyone has wish list. All those things may sound and look good on paper but I think only a couple of them really matter and make you happy. It doesn’t really make sense that you get what you want but not what you need, right?
There’s this ongoing trend to go harder, better, faster and stronger. Good is not enough, it has to be perfect. We’re so spoiled and individualistic and feel so entitled. Our egos, so inflated and validated. We often think we’re Rolls-Royce Phantom but in fact we’re Volkswagen Polo. It doesn’t make dating easier.
I find that there’s a difference in being picky and having unrealistic requirements (your wants) versus looking for alignment between yourself and others (your needs). Just let it go.
PS. I integrated some lyrics of three songs in this post. You get a cookie if you have found them!
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