I love to play Big Two. It’s a card game using poker combinations. That’s why the game is also called Chinese poker. Big Two is fast-paced, unforgiving and addictive. It requires tactical insight, the ability to offend the other players and luck. You can play many cards and combinations but never the ‘Race card’. Neither will I. It’s easy to play the victim in times like these. Just like in Big Two, in life you get dealt bad cards or you sit next to a weak or strong (that’s usually me, hihi) player who disrupts your chi. Sometimes you win some, sometimes you dim sum. I’m happier finding ways to actually improve my Big Two game (although it’s already near perfect, hihi) than to complain about how the odds are stacked against me.
It’s common knowledge that Pokémon have special abilities. I’m not a Pokémon as a matter of fact but I believe I have a couple of Asian qualities that help me navigate the dating world.
You may have heard that if you put a bunch of Asians together, they make an awful lot of noise, even without karaoke or mahjong. Asian households are usually jam-packed with stuff and even more stuff. I’ve never seen the real colour of the floor and the walls of the house I grew up in. There’s no shame in hoarding and kitsch is still art. Chaos and overstimulation are not unknown to me. Today, I juggle dates, texts, phone calls and needy behaviour from my (high-)main(tenance) harem and side pieces like it’s nothing. If love is a minefield then I’m out there alive and kicking it while simultaneously rope skipping the alphabet and dancing the Macarena with clown boots.
I’m a master of Korean BBQ. I never say it’s too spicy even if my eyes are tearing and my mouth is burning. I never give up on a girl like I never put down the heat of the grill. I’m never afraid of the splattering oil. Oil is sizzling and sizzling is euphoria. Pssssshhhh, heat it, eat it.
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