Short summary of the date: one drink, second drink, lights out.
Thank you for reading.
I watched five episodes of La Casa de Papel until my guest returned to earth after passing out and throwing up several times. It was a glorious evening. Sipping my alcoholic beverage, refilling my glass multiple times and munching on the spicy snacks I bought for the occasion. I love me time. It was especially entertaining for me as the girl acted very confident in her boozing skills before. We all know someone with a big mouth and how it usually ends up in the opposite way…
When dating you can do two things during a conversation. You can show yourself in a vulnerable way. For example, self-deprecating humour (“yo shawty, you can only see my teeth and bling bling in the dark haha”) , sharing a personal story (“and that’s how I lost my left arm and my puppy”) or an embarrassing one (“I tripped and then the tampon popped out on his white sneakers”). It has become a trend in past years to be vulnerable. To the point, you even have to announce it (“I’m going to be very real with you now”).
A different approach is the impression method. This can include the humble brag (“ooh really? I was there too but couldn’t really enjoy it because I was stuck in the VIP with Eminem, Angela Merkel and Eve, the world’s most realistic AI humanoid”), acting tough (“I’m very independent and live my own perfect life”) or pretending to be smart (“how I would describe myself in three words? Hmm. Gregarious, a tad avant-garde, sometimes esoteric. Now your turn to delineate yourself idiosyncratically. Quid pro quo”).
With many things, it’s important to know your limits, like I’ve seen and heard during this date. There’s a sweet spot where you’re in the zone and you’re the boss. The world is your Champagne oyster. There’s nothing wrong about being a bit vulnerable or showing off your value. It’s normal, it’s expected. After all, you’re just talking about yourself and convey yourself in several ways. If what you’re saying doesn’t resonate with the other, then it might be a sign that there’s no match. Fine. Just continue doing your thing.
Eventually, somebody will find value in what you say. As was the case when the girl told me (when she was still sober) that my writings gave her new perspectives on dating and is helping her on her dating journey. One person is enough.
I know you’re all dying to know what poison we drank. Well, we had vodka with either cranberry juice (disgusting) or coke.
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