Maybe it’s because I meditate. Maybe it’s because I’m keeping a stoic diary. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been disappointed many times before and my standard modus operandi is to expect the worst. But the fact is, I stay rather unphased when I’m not getting a timely response or cancellation. What can you do about it anyway?
This girl is not one of the most responsive types of persons I know. I did not bother to ask why. It is what it is. It’s just a different way of interacting. I find it useless to occupy myself with games like “if the girl texts you, you have to wait at least two hours. Don’t appear too eager.”. So what, if I’m instantly texting back? So what, if that happens the day after because I have a deadline at work? In the grand scheme of things, these time contests are so insignificant so why even bother? Now it happens that I respond to a message and I literally forget about it seconds after I put my phone away. It definitely helps with the neediness :)
On the other hand, in a day and age where every feedback session ends with “we need to improve our communication”, a lack of responsiveness is for me the ultimate sign of the incompetence to manage your own life as well as a lack of consideration for other people. There’s a Cantonese expression that can be translated as “hindering the planet turning” and you use it for example when someone is blocking the door entrance in the metro and consequently other people can’t enter. If your mom asks you if you’re joining for dinner tonight, then you let her know as soon as possible so she can make the appropriate preparations. There’s no need to wait two hours to respond. It’s about making life easier for everyone and not being a blocking factor. Modern technology allows us to communicate in fast and efficient ways. I don’t see the point to switch back to the rhythm of pigeon mail.
But in life, life happens. Yeah, we agreed to go on a date but I was on holidays for two weeks, then something medical came up for her, then agendas were full. It took weeks to actually meet up. Patience is a virtue. If you think about it, there would be no fundamental difference in meeting up today or two months earlier or later. The basics would remain the same, getting to know each other. There’s no hurry, at least not for me. Often we give ourselves a lot of dating pressure but it’s not something you can force. You can drive it but not force it. And if nothing happens, it was not meant to be. Easy as that. Also remember, my dear children of the night, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.
I know you’re all dying to know what board games we played. Well, we played Mikado and Stratego. I was the loser.
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