She told me she was meeting some friends before our date. Cool, no problem, I’m going to the beach earlier to chill and read my book I said. She could show up whenever she was done. She showed up in a thick sweater. The type I’d wear when I’ll make a trip to visit Siberia’s permafrost. Mind you, it was over 40 degrees Celsius. I was really surprised and my brain started to come up with reasons. Perhaps she was preparing for a boxing match to defend her world title and cutting weight for the weigh-in? Maybe she was allergic to the sun? Could it be that she was a bit shy to show up in beach wear? I asked her about her attire but didn’t get a clear answer. I let it go.
Until today, because I need content and ideas to write about. I’m wondering how ambiguous a beach date can be, especially if we talked about baking in the sun and swimming. Maybe I missed some things. But if she didn’t want to go to the beach why would she pick that particular date out of all other possibilities?
It’s just a bit unfortunate. You don’t want to be in the situation where you’re told that you’re “going for a walk” and end up doing a 5-day trek to reach the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro. Or “let’s go for a quick bite” turns out to be wine & dine in some high-end restaurant. Walking around without underwear is not something I’m unfamiliar with but there’s a time and place for that. Her sweater was wet as fuck and probably heavy like knight’s armour, doing perspiring justice to the name of the garment. These mishaps happen in life and make for a good story or blog post.
We shouldn’t treat unmet expectations directly as sign of bad or lack of communication. We often hear people say that communication is the hallmark of a good relationship but if you ask what that actually means, the radio goes silent or you hear some white noise. Making too many wild assumptions should be avoided obviously but double-checking every single statement, just kills the vibe. I prefer to “live” the miscommunication and learn, discover and explore each other’s styles and preferences along the way. This is more realistic, particularly when communicating over text and at the beginning of a romantic story, than to expect a flawless interaction, perfectly in tune and harmony.
Having tension and conflict might not always be the fun part but being able to deal with and resolve it, brings people together and to use another cliché, makes you stronger.
I know you’re all dying to know what else we did instead. Well, we found a sports bar with blasting A/C.
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