Category: Behind the Scenes (page 6 of 6)

Girl, calm down your horses. I’m not asking you to marry me. Neither do I want your babies. I’m just asking you out on a date. Take a chill pill and check your calendar.

When I invite a girl and I use the word “Date”, I often get these incredible reactions. As if I have just committed to a crusade to conquer the kingdom of her heart. As if I’m a fortune teller and exactly know how it will turn out between us.

A date for me is when a girls meets a boy one-on-one to get to know each other. No more, no less. What happens or doesn’t happen after, is something different. But there’s always this intention to learn more about the other person. Only then, we can do what we do best, putting labels on people.

I understand that “Date” is a loaded term. It can bring a lot of expectations to the table. But when used in a neutral way, I find it’s the best word to describe the situation. Hanging out, grabbing a drink, meet up etc. Fuck that shit, be clear and honest. Bring in some tension. Go on a date.

If you want to read more of my posts in the future, you can subscribe at the bottom of the page.

As almost every day, I was standing in front of the traffic lights in my car. Hitting a red light is fine as you get some distraction in return. Sometimes it is a clown juggling balls, sometimes it is a proud mother showing her baby to everyone and sometimes it is a man who is dressed up as a bum. Just like the day before, it was the beggar gentleman shift. There we were, same place, same time. Date time. He started to walk in my direction. My heart started racing. I was curious, would he recognise me? That is of course the spontaneous reaction of a millenial, the “I am special and the whole world revolves around me.”-attitude.

In these stop light situations, you have two kinds of people I noticed: normal people and people with stiff necks. Normal people, they tend to shake their heads while waving their hands when the poor guy approaches. If you reach a certain level of coolness, you are probably leaning with your wrist on the steering wheel and then you raise your fingers. Sometimes, a generous fake smile as free giveaway is added by pursing your lips together for a second. Normal people also tend to say “No, thank you”. Even though the homeless person will never be able to hear what you said. Luckily, this man has a degree in lip reading because he continued his way.  Sadly, I do not think he recognised me.

I checked out the car behind me in the rearview mirror to see how the driver would react. I will not reveal the gender of the driver as it is not important but she was a millenial as well. When Mr. Bum stopped next to her window, I could see she was trying hard to make eye contact. Her jaws were clenched, a vein popped out of her forehead but if you have a stiff neck, it is hard to turn your head. Aaargh, stupid stiff neck. Props for the effort though, she was very focused, holding her breath and not blinking at all. Fortunately, her neck got less stiff when the homeless individual walked by.

Stiff necks are a pain in the ass. You are unable to notice other people, acknowledge their existence, treat them as human beings. A lot of people on public transport, on the streets and in elevators for example have stiff necks. It is a pity because that stiff neck problem is hindering a friendly nod or smile, a short moment of connection between strangers.

Does anyone know a good physiotherapist?

If you want to read more of my posts in the future, you can subscribe at the bottom of the page.

Parallel dating is not the same as parallel parking. One involves cars, the other doesn’t. One is preferred by guys, the other is rather gender-neutral. But in both cases, when done wrong, it can cause damage. Damage to yourself and damage to other parties. You can hit and run or you can be considerate.

They say women are good at multi-tasking. Except when it comes to dating multiple guys at the same time, that is parallel dating. Especially when the dating involved the stimulation of erogenous zones. “I can’t emotionally handle this.” “When I kissed him eight hours after I slept with the other guy, I felt so weird.” 

Most guys are like “Yeah man, going for the 4-in-44.” (this means banging four chicks in 44 hours) “Haha, her perfume was still lingering on me when I was walking to my next date.”

I do make a case for parallel dating. It makes you less needy. You can be more comfortable because if it doesn’t turn out as you wanted it to be, you still have options. You go on more different dates and each date is closer to knowing yourself and what you desire better. When serial dating (dating one person at a time), you psychologically invest more in someone. You get higher hopes each time you meet which can lead to greater disappointments when it didn’t work out. 

Both boys and girls do find parallel dating tiring though. In the end, you’ll narrow down to your favourite baby boo, but you’ll keep a couple of side pieces anyway. Just in case, to remind yourself, because you’re worth it. (I’m not affiliated with L’Oréal by the way)

If you want to read more of my posts in the future, you can subscribe at the bottom of the page.

“Small talk is boring. Small talk is superficial. Ugh, I hate small talk. I want deep conversations.”

*All readers nod in agreement, some start cheering and clapping*

(Woohoo, good start of my first post)

Small talk got a bad name because the same questions are being asked, every single time, and again and again and again. Does “What do you do?” ring a bell? Or what about “Where do you come from?”. If you don’t have white skin, you get this question twice and the second time you’re supposed to explain your genetic make-up by indicating your ancestor’s country.

Boring small talk does not exist, only boring people.

What would happen if we decided not to use any of the cliché questions in our initial conversations, ever again? Just try it and be amazed.

 Example 1 of exquisite small talk:

° How was your weekend?

* Good.

(Awkward silence. Tension builds up.)

* And yours? 

° Good.

(The end)

Example 2 of exquisite small talk:

° ça va?

* ça va et toi?

° ça va 

(The end)

If you want to read more of my posts in the future, you can subscribe at the bottom of the page.